Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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