OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
