My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
