Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
