Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
