My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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