im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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