I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I will pee on everything he values.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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