And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
