You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize