I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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