youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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