doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
