And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Who did Billy Mays play for?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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