when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
