once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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