who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
