The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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