I just made out with a guy for $7.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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