Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
