Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
