Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
