Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
