I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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