Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
