You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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