I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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