how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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