She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
NoShamevember. You game?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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