If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
