I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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