she was so not down for the gang bang
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
