so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
