Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize