did you get engaged???
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
