So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
