That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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