Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
