my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
your like the ambassador to my penis.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize