my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
