haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
