and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
