careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
