The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
