Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
