oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
