this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
