real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
