what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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