Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
