Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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