Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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