You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize