I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
