4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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