Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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