We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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